BVC-CHAT Visiting

[Amy Sharp]

As someone who has never met Roloef but has experienced his warmth through
his friends I just want to express my appreciation to the members of the BVC
for their support of a fellow friend.  It makes me very happy to be
associated with such a great group of people.  

-----Original Message-----
From: bvc-chat-bounces at philebus.tamu.edu
[mailto:bvc-chat-bounces at philebus.tamu.edu] On Behalf Of Huebner, Lenae
Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2004 10:14 AM
To: Brazos Valley Cyclists
Subject: RE: BVC-CHAT Visiting 

I just spoke to Loela's mother - what a wonderful, strong woman.  I
wanted to go by and see them today, and Loela thinks that e-mails are
better today.  Roloef apparently had a little better night last night,
fever down a bit.  He drank a little bit this morning, but is, as you
might imagine, too exhausted to even open his eyes.

As Jean Marie indicated, they are checking e-mails frequently and taking
them in to read to him..

I made some phone calls yesterday morning to LAF and his publisher about
Lance maybe making a phone call to Roloef's house.  Jean Marie drafted a
letter for me to work on and send as our 'plea', which I did.  I heard
back very quickly from the publishing office that they would forward my
request to Lance.   I don't know if anything will come of it, but I was
impressed at their response.

I encourage everyone to take a quiet moment today and count your
blessings, which should include for those of us fortunate enough to have
crossed paths with Roloef in our life, to be extra thankful.

~~L

-----Original Message-----
From: bvc-chat-bounces at philebus.tamu.edu
[mailto:bvc-chat-bounces at philebus.tamu.edu] On Behalf Of Jean Marie
Linhart
Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2004 9:22 AM
To: bvc-chat at philebus.tamu.edu
Cc: s-sunkari at tamu.edu
Subject: BVC-CHAT Visiting 

Yesterday Roelof was having a bad day.  I wasn't planning on visiting
because of this, but when I went out for a walk, Loela was in the
driveway and motioned me over.  Loela is a tower of strength, serene in
the face of all that is happening, but I thought she also looked tired,
both physical exhaustion and the exhaustion that comes from dealing with
grief.

I was invited in to give Loela a neck rub -- I did, but I was almost
afraid to touch her.  Loela's Mom and Johann, Roelof's brother were
there, and Adrianna and Hernando, friends from Columbia, who were saying
goodbye to Roelof.  Loela's Mom is a dynamo, mothering everyone, even
me.  She is, I think, one of Loela's primary sources of support at this
time.  They fed me dinner, dinner was brought by one of the ladies who
are cooking for them, since cooking smells make Roelof more nauseous.
It was delicious, they told me that all the dinners have been delicious,
remembering several others including barbecue and chicken noodle
casserole.  There was plenty for all of us.  The kindness of having
dinner made for them is so greatly appreciated.

Johann is cleaning gutters and doing other maintenance work that would
otherwise have been neglected.  Loela and her Mom are the primary
nursing caregivers.  As always, even on a bad bad bad day, there are a
lot of visitors in the house, all of us trying to provide some help and
support, all of us wishing we could somehow do more.  They tell me it is
a great source of strength to see all the people who try to offer that
help and support.  I still wish I could do more.

Everyone talks quietly, it is almost a shock when voices are at a normal
level.  There is a stillness in the house and a tension and a great deal
of acceptance and peace for the inevitable.  There is a pamphlet from
the Hospice detailing the symptoms of the end of life, and Roelof has
all but 3 or 4 of them; there is not much time left.
Instructions on the phone for contacting the hospice.  Pages of Roelof's
medications.

I didn't see Roelof; I didn't expect to.  I hope I was able to give a
bit of caring to the survivors and caretakers in that room.

Roelof, I am so sorry I didn't call last week.  I was tied up in my own
things and thinking there was more time than there was.  I wish we could
have ridden our bikes again. I will treasure the memory of riding with
you that one evening over the summer when I was coming home from work
and you were leaving and we went to the gas station out on North Graham.
Roelof, I hope your passing is gentle and generous as ever you and Loela
have been to me.

Jean Marie



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